Can Men and Women be Friends?
Hypothetically speaking sure we can be friends. But there are a few things that must take place before this adventure can become a reality.
First, the parties involved must define what friendship means and what steps must be taken to maintain and honor the friendship. It is no secret that most men and women don’t know how to exist in a monogamous friendly relation.
From the time one attends the first grade through graduation from high school the average pupil will spend 88,312 hours in the classroom. Not one ‘meaningful’ hour of this intense mental development is spent learning about the opposite sex let alone the individual.
Most men are taught that their primary duty in society is to conquer the woman and give her the best love (sex) anyone can offer her. He is taught by his environment to be selfish. The woman is looked upon, as an object of his sexual desires, nothing more, nothing less. The woman, on the other hand, appreciates her man without doubt or apprehension (I’m joking of course). Seriously, the modern day woman, because men for have mistreated her so long, feels a void in her womanhood that disallows most men. Many women have been manipulated and deceived for so long she believes all men are after just one thing, sex.
Can men and women be friends? Sure, if the man has been taught since early childhood that women are beautiful creations of GOD that should be loved and protected with all sincerity. The man being the “leader” must have an appreciation for her inner beauty and not get caught up in the curve of her jeans and the fit of her shirt that triggers his lustful desires. We must remember that during slavery our men were used as studs to impregnate our women and then we were shipped off to the next plantation. The mother was left to fend for her, and the child and the master, looked upon as daddy. This cycle continues today with men leaving the children at home and leaving the woman to be the head of the household. Because of the terrible exhibition of slavery, the Black woman has a tough time respecting her Blackman as a man, let alone a friend.
Can men and women be friends? Sure, if the woman is open, can shut out the voices of friends who gossip and have only negative things to say about men. Because many women will get together and talk about the negative aspects of men, the young women that listen to those conversations, are conditioned to believe “all men are dogs” (top quote of the 21st century). Ladies, there are strong, respectable, and responsible men in this world.
Friends are wonderful to have and if it’s established from the beginning that it will be an open monogamous friendship. The time invested can be time well spent. Please make certain that there are no strings attached and that both parties have an equal appreciation for the other. And remember, trust your gut. There are people have bad intentions and will do whatever it takes to get next to you even if it means claiming to be your friend.
Dr. Tiy-E Muhammad
Relationship Consultant
www.drtiyemuhammad.com
